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Early-Bird Savings...
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Thursday, 08 December 2011 02:00
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
OptumHealth Performance announces 2012 TRIATHLON SERIES schedule of events and Early-Bird registration DATES
Register by Dec. 31, 2011, to Save on Manitou, MinneMan and TwinCities Triathlons
EDEN PRAIRIE, MINN.
Gift Cards, Sunblock & The Beef Slough Boys...
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Wednesday, 07 December 2011 02:00
MTN made Team Minnesota posters and gave them to those who made this year's team. They were tastefully non-ostentacious, which is another way of saying that they weren't expensive.
Okay. They were cheap.
If we could have afforded it, though, we would have given every member of the Team a lavish gift; something they would treasure for many weeks.
Like what, you ask?
Here's what we wish we could have done for the guys:
Deep Fried Birds & Calculators....
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Tuesday, 06 December 2011 02:20
Going Off Course - Cirriform exhaust clouds spewed from the tailpipe of the parked 1977 Audi 80 and the interior windows were fogged with impatient human respiration.
"What's that alluring scent you're wearing," the panting horndog gasped into Cheryl Bauer's 17-year-old ear.
"Original Recipe and Extra Crispy," the totally hot, fragrant teen replied breathlessly.
It wasn't just a scent, though. It was bigger than that. An aroma perhaps? Nah. Bigger. It was a full-blown, room-filling odor.
The hormonal youth, whose name was either Chip or Skipper (he was from Wayzata), could no longer control himself. He commenced to licking Cheryl's face hungrily, like a golden retriever lapping water from a toilet. Firmly believing that face-licking is inappropriate on a first date, Cheryl pushed the boy away and admonished him with an indignant tsk.
Cheryl, who married a guy named Mr. Zitur in the 80s (a few years after she dumped Chip; or was is Skipper?), now has several teenagers of her own, none of whom have, like their mom, worked at KFC. Sure, they like to eat the Colonel's fare (who except Cheryl, doesn't?), but mom expressly forbade them to work...
National Honorees....
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Monday, 05 December 2011 02:00
(Photo - Dan Hedgecock is being considered for USAT honors in two categories.)
By Norm DePlume
2011 USAT Athletes of the Year - In the very near future the USAT AOY Selection Committee will review the competitive resumes of just over 100 multisporters and determine which should receive post season honors. Minnesotans have always figured prominently in these deliberations and several have won national titles, or earned Honorable Mentions. Check this out:
- 2010 - Patrick Parish - AOY HM; Jenny Wilcox - Duathlete of the Year HM; Greg Taylor - Master of the Year HM.
- 2009 - Cathy Yndestad - Athlete of the Year; Kevin O'Connor - Duathlete of the Year
- 2008 - Brian Bich - Master of the Year; Cathy Yndestad - AOY HM.
- 2007 - Cathy Yndestad - AOY HM; Brian Bich - MOY HM...
Breadsticks & a Frosty Leinie's
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Thursday, 01 December 2011 02:30
WARNING: Some of the content in this post may have been embellished. The rest may have been totally made-up.
Going Off Course - Ever go to the Olive Garden intent on scarfing down at least 30 of the Never Ending Pasta Bowl combinations, but by the time your alfredoed angel hair arrives you've hoovered 67 breadsticks? You then leave the restaurant ten minutes later in a state of crushing despair for having just spent
